Love Yourself First

I've heard it said many times. You've probably heard it said many times. Before finding love, you should learn first to love yourself. It sounds true and meaningful, but honestly, until recently, I wasn't really sure what it meant. In what way is loving yourself significant to finding love in a partner, in a relationship? But, I think I get it now.

You see, when we learn to love and respect ourselves, who we are, and the qualities we hold, then we understand and appreciate our own value and seek people in our lives who also know that value. We’re also less and less interested in withstanding, being in connection with, or in a relationship with someone who would undermine or doesn’t understand our value. If we really love ourselves, then we’ll also seek someone who shows that they really love us for who we are.

On January 25th, I began the practice of morning pages as prescribed by Julia Cameron in her book “The Artist’s Way.” I also began integrating within the practice her other recommendations for affirmations, essentially affirming the good within myself. Affirmations always appeared silly to me from what I had seen in social and popular media, but the way she described it and the way I understood it felt different. It was actually really helpful to spend time daily appreciating and affirming my good qualities and qualities I wished to expand. That, along with good friendships and the culmination of my own maturing, led me to feel more love and appreciation towards myself. I think my journey of self-love started long before reading the book, but I do believe it was a great help and reignited the importance of it for me. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that two months later, I entered into a relationship that I truly find loving.

So, yes, I think it is important to learn to love yourself first.

Let me know your thoughts on this topic. Wishing more love for us all, from ourselves first and then from others.

Naser