Is it helpful or unhelpful?

One of the biggest re-frames in my life was changing the judgement of my behaviours from good/bad, to helpful/unhelpful.

It’s not bad to hold a grudge or not forgive someone, but it can be unhelpful.

It’s not bad to be prideful, but it can be unhelpful.

It’s not bad to lie, but it can be unhelpful.

It’s not bad to drink…

It’s not bad to speak of ill of others…

You get the drift.

Growing up with exposure to religious values created “must” guidelines in my mind. Yet, ultimately this clouded me from any insight or connection the guidelines may have had into creating a “good” life. Moreover, the shame and guilt intertwined with these rules was frankly unhelpful.

And so, that’s how I try to approach my own choices now, with less judgement. I try to avoid bullying myself if I make a mistake. I find it more helpful to take that learning and understanding into guiding my future choices.

As always it comes back to love. It’s just about being a little more loving and patient with myself and in turn others.

Wishing you a restful weekend,

Naser