I Followed My Dreams For 3 Years... Kind Of

I followed my dreams for three years—well, sort of. The truth is I didn't really. And here's the main takeaway because I appreciate you getting this far: You can fail at what you don't want, so you may as well try what you do want. Also, I have to give a little credit to Jim Carrey, since he has a really great story on this topic that's haunted me since I first saw him speak on it a decade ago. Here's the link. But anyway, lessons lived are better learned.

In 2021, I got an opportunity to make money making videos. I got into a competitive fellowship, and for 3 months would be paid a significant amount to make videos from anywhere. The catch was they had to be on the topic of Crypto and NFTs, not any project in particular (other than the first trial round), just the whole space in general. Before then I had already gathered enough savings and investments and was about to leave a teaching job in the US. I had dreamed for a long time about traveling and making videos, but not about crypto. I was interested in the topic, but it wasn't part of the dream. I wanted to make videos about the world and my main pursuit—the pursuit of happiness, finding balance and joy, and a sense of home in the world.

But it was too scary to take the leap fully on my own dream. So I hedged my bet. I would make videos about crypto for money and do my own thing on the side. Fast forward 1 year, and I eventually went all-in on crypto videos because it seemed like a big opportunity on the horizon, until it wasn't. Misguided investments and a crashed market resulted in me losing over half my savings and ending up on a dead-end path making more videos on topics I lacked passion for. But most critically, I had failed pursuing something that I didn't even really want, and in real numbers, I was worse off financially than I would have been had I just quit my teaching job and gone all in on my own dreams.

The second time I took the leap, I was back teaching after the loss of savings and accrued debt, but a friend offered me an opportunity to edit videos for him. This was it—another break. I also had a short-term crypto job available. So I went for it. I quit my teaching job to travel the world and make videos. I was far from the financial security and safety net I the first time. But the goal was to work as an editor and meanwhile make my own videos, and I did, sort of. But not fully, not consistently. Any time I took away from work was money lost, and I feared putting time behind my own dream and failing. In the past two years, I made 22 long-form videos. That’s less than 1 a month. I also edited hundreds of videos for my friend. To be fair, I learned a lot, but I didn't move the needle as much as I could have for my own dream.

So here I am 3 years later, and maybe I get it now. So, I'm committing more than ever to a real path, a real effort towards my goals. Truthfully, since the fall of last year, I have already cut back my work hours down from 30+ to 20 per week. Yet, I still lacked commitment or confidence or effort towards my dream, my vision. The fear of failure was too strong. But I'm clearer on it now than ever that sticking to something you don't want doesn't lead you to what you do and I'm always going to regret not giving it my all. I am not done working, because honestly financially it would be too risky and stressful, but I’m no longer looking for more work. I’m committing to using the hours beyond the 20 per week I give to work to give my own vision a real chance.

Fear is the main barrier, the fear of failure. But you can fail at what you don’t want, so might as well follow what you do.

Wishing you courage in pursuing what you want.

Naser